July 12, 2004

Another first. I'm givin' the blog thing a try! Have enjoyed peeking inside the mind of some others, and need to implement some personal discipline in my own life. Gonna commit to check in regularly here to journal some lines and reflect.

Messed up- I'm feelin' it! It been an interesting past couple weeks- God and I. Feelin' tested, stretched pulled in 3 areas- personal, church,family, work.

Personally, I like to solve problems and whenever possible forecast and prevent them with some good old fashion planning and hard work. Got out debt that way, then set aside a LITTLE in a rainy day fund. Doris has been able to stay home with the kids that way- great! Well, it's been raining- Car fixes, Dog Vet bills, more car fixes, and still more! I was sick for a couple weeks in there too. I'm afraid God's trying to teach me something. My sense is that it's not over. Maybe some more spankin' to come.

Church- same thing. To say that I've been challenged spiritually in the past 1.5 years by P-Dubb Ya is a huge understatement. Learning that God is glorified most when we take steps forward only as we are confident that God has shown each step to us. God receives no glory if we only act in ways where the outcome is easily reached through a well thought out plan that did not necessarily even come from Him or result in what He was trying to accomplish. God's ways are not Man's ways.... Too often, leadership in "The Church" like to forecast, plan, lead-well, and implement "Vision" when, in reality most of that junk came from feeble minded, ego-heavy individuals who have good people skills. Numbers growth may happen and some real ministry too, but it's just not based in the Great Commandment. The Great Commision of tell others about Jesus sometimes is so much easier than the Great Commandment of actually knowing, loving and truly understanding His nature. And so, here at HCC the church funds seem to be quickly drying up, our need for a better facility is soon to become very important with so many babies forecast in the next year. We are focused on pouring in to the small number of individuals that God is completely wrecking in the best possible way, and we pray for God to tell us how He wants us to move forward before doing anything on our own. I'll be honest, it's frightening! I want to "fix" these things right now. But, I can't say that God has given us a specific plan, and so we wait to hear from Him and then plan to feverishly implement our "bias for action". Yet, God is faithful. He is already doing great things in our midst. I thank God for my pastor and for our church. God is planting authentic faith in the hearts of some (mine included), and THAT is worth celebrating!

Family- Just recently went on a weeks vacation. Stayed in a cabin for a week in the U.P. in the middle of the Hiawatha Nat. Forest. It was nothing like I hoped. One word- Mosquitos! Felt trapped in the cabin for a few days, and well, REST doesn't happen much these day with two little boys. Had car trouble. There were good times though. Enjoyed some sun and fun at the beach. Played golf one day (family along in the cart), and the cabin was well-stocked with "monster buck" hunting videos- a highlight of the week!

Work- 75 provider contracts across 9 counties, all needing ammended in the next 3 weeks! Happens 1x/year- now. Here we go.

With a baby girl coming in Sept. Doris is growing. She one HOT Momma! Sharing the bed with lots of pillows these days. It's madness. Truth-I'm so in love with her. God has blessed me richly with my family.

End of blog. See you soon. This is kinda fun.